i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
