You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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