gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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