i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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