Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
