Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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