I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
