I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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