i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
