Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
