Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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