I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
