I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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