you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
