I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
