ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
