Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
