There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
