Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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