just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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