It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
