Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
