you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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