New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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