I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
