when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize