How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I need a beard to bite.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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