i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
