I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
