Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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