my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
