This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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