dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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