There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
