Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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