I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
