God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
