it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
