I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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