sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
