I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
