yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
