I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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