honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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