yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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