I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
