Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
its not stalking. its research.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
