she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
