3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he thought i was a dude.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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