Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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