Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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