Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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