it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize