Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
