What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
