I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize