i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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