i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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