You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
